Reading: The Happiness Project

I recently came across The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and knew right away that it was a book that I had to read. The premise of the book really resonates with me because I think of my 101 goals project as a sort of happiness project. Whether my goals are small, or about learning something new, or just getting something done because I know I should - they're all things I want to do so that I'll be a little happier.

Rubin is not an unhappy woman: she has a loving husband, two great kids and a writing career in New York City. Still, she could-and, arguably, should-be happier. Thus, her methodical (and bizarre) happiness project: spend one year achieving careful, measurable goals in different areas of life (marriage, work, parenting, self-fulfillment) and build on them cumulatively, using concrete steps (such as, in January, going to bed earlier, exercising better, getting organized, and "acting more energetic"). By December, she's striving bemusedly to keep increasing happiness in every aspect of her life. The outcome is good, not perfect (in accordance with one of her "Secrets of Adulthood": "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good"), but Rubin's funny, perceptive account is both inspirational and forgiving, and sprinkled with just enough wise tips, concrete advice and timely research (including all those other recent books on happiness) to qualify as self-help. Defying self-help expectations, however, Rubin writes with keen senses of self and narrative, balancing the personal and the universal with a light touch. Rubin's project makes curiously compulsive reading, which is enough to make any reader happy. -- Amazon.com

I've seen this book compared to The Year of Living Biblically, which I've also read (and really liked). While I don't think Happiness has quite the same humor as Living Biblically, it is an interesting read. Happiness begins on relatively shaky ground - among Rubin's first tasks is "extreme nice," where Rubin resolves to be nice no matter what she encounters. I understand the motivation of the goal, but her description of putting "extreme nice" into practice makes her seem like a doormat. Not exactly something I aspire to and definitely not something that would make me very happy.

That (and her incessant references to her blog) aside, there are some great concrete tips that I took away from Rubin's book. Easy ways to make simple changes to be happier on a daily basis. Most notably:


- Laugh Often
- Get Rid of Clutter
- Fake it 'til You Make It
- Do Easy Stuff First
- Be Kate

It's the last item, Be Kate (or in Rubin's case, "Be Gretchen"), that resounds the most strongly with me. Rubin frequently finds herself struggling with herself. She likes a certain kind of music, but believes she should like something else. She wants to enjoy reading lofty adult-like books, but in truth she really enjoys children's literature. Allowing herself to like the things she likes was a key ingredient to finding greater happiness in her life.

I've also struggled with this sort of inner-conflict. I want to be taken seriously as an adult and I think an adult that would taken seriously should like serious stuff. Britney Spears music is decidedly non-serious, so I think I shouldn't like it, but I do. Anyone else struggle with doing things that you like vs. the things you think you should like?

Doing this 101 goals project has really to brought to light the things that I enjoy and make me happy. I really like volunteering (I do it all the time now). I really like decorating my house. I really enjoy reading and blogging. All of these things make me happy, even if they aren't everyone else's idea of a good time.

I think Rubin's book is great because it gives you real concrete things you can do to make yourself just a little bit happier. Instead of "move to India and get the spiritual guidance of Buddah," it's full of things that every person can do in their own lives today. While I consider my 101 goals project to be my personal version of the happiness project, this book has helped me think about new ways that I can work on being even happier.